In Retrospect … part 2
September 26, 2019
if you haven’t read part 1 … here’s the link http://www.anthonybrunelli.com/blog/2019/9/21/in-retrospect
I am now 50 years old. I became a father and husband at the age of 17. I was married for nine years and had a second daughter Mackenzie during that time. I am now remarried to my wife Emily and have two very special granddaughters, Mia and Sloane. When the seed of my dream was planted as a very young child, none of the above was even remotely a part of my dream. However, my family has become the most enriching part of my life.
Right: My daughter Mackenzie and granddaughters Mia and Sloane, 2019. Left: Myself and my wife Emily at my daughter Mercedes’ college graduation, 2012.
This season of my life is a more contemplative existence than I have chosen in the past. I am less concerned with goals and achievements, but sincerely appreciative when they are realized. It is the passage of time that I really did not give much attention to until recently. Writing that I am 50 years old is rather startling. During earlier periods of my life I was on a mission. Nothing was going to stop me. I never even considered a Plan B, and I can honestly say I have no regrets. The most positive aspect of aging is wisdom. The realization that whatever you meet in life is “The Path,” is a sobering wake up call to be present.
“Be careful what you water your dreams with.
Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds
that will choke the life from your dreams.
Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.
Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
-Lao Tzo
I was always dedicated to my dream and was never afraid of hard work. My first job was working for the local McDonald’s on Upper Court Street, in my hometown of Binghamton, NY, at the age of 16. I learned a lot working there and trained to do almost all positions in the restaurant. I still make a mean breakfast sandwich! I was 17 when my daughter, Mercedes, was born, and I added another job as a delivery driver for United Health Services, a local hospital. I would wake up at 4am to open the McDonald’s, take classes at Binghamton University around lunchtime, and then go work at the hospital in the late afternoon, as well as take weekend shifts. Both jobs were exceptionally accommodating to my schedule, and forgiving to any changes that popped up. During this time I was also able to land some illustration jobs, doing ads, book covers, and album covers for KUDA, a popular local band.
My daughters Mercedes, age 12, right, and Mackenzie, age 6, left, in front of my painting View of Binghamton, 1999.
Having a young family enabled me to qualify for numerous scholarships, grants and loans to attend college. I decided that instead of renting I would use the money to buy a house, and was able, with no money down, to make that a reality. It was a small fixer upper on the lower east side of Binghamton and I remodeled it with my then father-in-law after his UPS shifts at night. This wasn’t just painting and decorating. I still vividly recall a very cold February night when we decided to put in a picture window, and had to remove an entire exterior wall to accomplish it. We started at 9pm and finished at 2am. It still amazes me that none of the neighbors complained as the hammer strikes reverberated throughout the entire neighborhood on that bitterly cold night. We finished after many more long nights and I was able to provide a home for my young family.
“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.
It’s to enjoy each step along the way.”
-Wayne Dyer
Many people and situations along my journey seem almost to have been orchestrated in the synchronistic timing of their appearance. The magnitude of each encounter’s significance gives me the chills. The truth is usually hidden for us in plain sight and when I think back I wonder if any one of these people or situations had not materialized – Would I still be writing this now?I have always felt some mysterious outside force guiding my life. I know it now to be intuition, but then it was simply a stubborn drive to realize my dream.
Susan Meisel has often said to me that if she were not sitting at the front desk when I nervously walked into Louis K. Meisel Gallery with my slides that fateful day 25 years ago – it might have been a different outcome – the secretary might have sent me away, my slides might have been misplaced, I might not have joined the Meisel roster . . . . the possibilities are innumerable. What if I held my childhood angst in, and did not throw myself down the stairs continually? My mother may not have been desperate to find a way to calm me down, which was watching her create art, leading to my own creations, and the dream of being an artist. What are the chances of a high school field trip from Upstate New York walking into a NYC gallery at the exact moment the artist Chuck Close was visiting the gallery for his show? Without that interaction I may not have found Louis Meisel and the Photorealism movement. There are many other people and situations, too numerous to mention, that shaped the trajectory of my path, and they could probably become their own blogs … maybe they will.
From top left clockwise: My wife Emily, myself, collectors, Andy and Erin Heiskell and their children, Louis and Susan Meisel, at lunch at EMP Summer House in the Hamptons.
“Be grateful for whoever has come,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
-Rumi
Every time it looked bleak and I faced a challenge or setback that threatened my dream, I would just go deeper inside myself and trust my art to calm me down. It became my sword and my shield, as well as my security blanket; it was my everything. I would seem to protect it more than myself. My art was held to a higher standard than my own physical existence or personal self. Please do not confuse my meaning; it was not the physical product that I was protective of, but rather the creation itself. I needed to be able to create, and to create to the high standards I had set. A question that is often asked of me is “Is it ever hard for you to let go of a painting?” My answer has never changed. “I do not own the painting. The creation is mine.” There is an inner peace to knowing that.
The creations are mine, but I have always chosen to share the resulting art and also the creative process behind them. I am filled with boundless appreciation as I write this blog and embark on this 25-year retrospective. The upcoming show does not belong to me, just as my paintings do not belong to me. It is to be shared with all those who have graced this path I travelled. In essence, it belongs to life itself.
“Life is the dancer and you are the dance.”
-Eckhart Tolle
-Anthony Brunelli